I wasn’t always as confident as you think I appear to be. My High School years was one of the worst times in my life. I kept running away from myself and did lots of things that were bad so it was hard to find my feet and grow my confidence. After years of struggling to accept myself, eventually I got sick and tired of doubting my abilities/skills and even looks. With the support of others but mostly by replacing my thoughts with positive I literally started to shine from inside-out.
When I started agijavizule I didn’t had a clear idea of what I was doing, I was just following the steps that I thought I should do (and thank god the direction went right). I also had such a negative person surrounding me all the time that I couldn’t even see myself growing with my blog and the pressure kept knocking my confidence and skills down.
As more than a year now has gone by and I have opened up myself onto the internet my confidence has grown hugely and I no longer worry about the things I used to worry about. In fact now that I think about it, it just looks so stupid of me that I was worried about those things.
Of course I am not saying that I have become this huge person who is 100% serf assured about every single step in life. I still have a self-doubt and shyness to me but this is what keeps me grounded and not allow to display myself to others as an arrogant person (Which I’ve never been and never will be).
There are many places from where I’ve gained my confidence over the years which of course includes remembering where I came from and where I am now. And the way I remind myself is not by comparing the materialistic things but instead looking at people that were around me and also how my mindset on life was then and how it is now.
I do work hard and I always believe that I can do even better. I am constantly looking for where some small diamond of success hides in the ground and I dig it. Everyone can have a success in life as long as they put their mind into it, including myself, and this is all down to experiences, risks you’re willing to take and of course the people surrounding yourself. Negative energy is a negative impact.
My mum has always been the biggest fan and supporter for my life decisions (unless they are absolutely ridiculous, and to be honest I do come up with them a lot).
It is important that when you have a fall down, you have someone that will tell you ‘don’t worry, it will be good’. Career changes with relationships and basically with everything that life throws at me but my biggest cheerleader has always kept my spirits high. Mum was the one who picked me up and took my mid off of it when there was put a stop to my previous relationship. The words of confidence, wisdom and faith one hundred percent changed me for the better and much stronger.
I’ve have had my experience on bad relationships. Although at the time I felt like I was extremely strong by carrying such a huge rock on my shoulders with believe that one day it will get off and instead lift me, it never happened. And those experiences only strengthened and boosted my growth. The anger, humiliation and sadness only allowed me to see the huge (previously invisible) picture of what I really deserve and want. Learning to stand up for myself and going through crappy experiences didn’t felt that important at the time but right now? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Much stronger than you think.
When feeling bad or helplessly down I know that I have somewhere to go which reminds me of how far I’ve come. It is there to remind me of how much positive I am giving and the crowd that is standing behind me. It might not be enormously huge right now but I can see it rapidly growing which is why I keep reminding myself that I am not gonna look back but only forward and keep pushing myself for the base that I have built already. Online is an amazing place where people lift each other up.
For me it is no brainer that I am the only one at the end of the day who can understand why I am where I am and what made me this way. Sometimes when I feel like I am sliding down I don’t throw my experience to someone else and call for advice but instead I just sit and think ‘what the hell am I gonna do now’ ‘I have to do something’. To be honest I can be brutal to myself sometimes with my thoughts but this is a way that works for me to be better. It might not be the right thing for everyone, but simply being in ‘my space’ helps me to understand what improvements I have to make. The thing that I have understood the most is that just because you have someone to turn to for an advice doesn’t mean that it is the right advice. They can only understand your situation so much and from what you tell them. The right choice comes within you because no one else can know better.
I find myself shining brighter and standing taller in situations where I previously would have hidden. I still have a lot to grow but it will never turn to arrogance and I will keep throwing my confidence into my blog as much as I can.